8 months

So it has now been just over 8 months since Josh's accident, they have said that at one year he will be as good as he is going to get. I have decided life will never be normal again, like it was that is. This last month Josh has been busy with wound care, he keeps talking them out of using the wound vac but they have put it back on several times. He had an infection in the wound and they found a fairly deep tunnel toward the top that had to be drained. He has been back to work and then off again then back, then off. It has been very frustrating for him overall. This last week he has done a lot of healing. This morning when I changed the dressing the incision part looks really good, it's just the hole at the top now that needs to fill in. I would say it is about 3 inches deep right now. Tunnels kind of take their time, it is slow but still moving forward. For now they are keeping the wound vac off. Josh has once again talked all of his doctors into letting him go back to work, this time it will be full time minus wound care and doctor appointments. It will be good for him, I just worry that he will over do it. It was only two weeks ago that he was sent home for such behavior. He is still without a lot of the strength he had before. I now they will watch out for him, and I appreciate that. Josh will not be just like he was before at one year, I don't know if he will be even at two. Things are just different, I guess we just need to find our new normal. Physically, mentally, emotionally, things are different. We are still adjusting and will be for some time I am sure. Overall things continue to move forward, one day wound care will be done, that in itself will be very nice, as much as we like the people there. Tomorrow will be another try at going back to work. Praying things go well for him this time.

This last month has brought much progress on our addition, thanks to my dad and a some guidance and help from my brother. My dad and I have finished the framing of the walls. A couple of weeks ago we put the trusses on with the help of my brother. Everything that is up is sheeted, now we just need to do the build back to connect the two roofs. It is going to be so very nice. One bad thing though is I didn't know we would need a separate unit for air/heat in the new area. I guess I thought what we had would work for the new part too. Did I mention before that I am not a builder, although I am getting pretty good with the nail gun! Anyway once we get that figured out we will out of funds, so we will either be on hold or start using the Home Depot card. So hard to do since we have had it paid off for awhile now. But things will work out, even if we use it to at least get the bedroom done and wait on the rest. I long ago bought just about everything for the bathroom except any tile. We also had a good friend donate some shelving wood, so maybe it won't be to far off to get our closet and bathroom done as well. My help was gone all last week but I had the whole family out ripping off stucco from the back wall. It was a lot of work but kinda fun. Josh also nailed up some boxes for the lights and plugs. It is getting pretty hot out now but I hope we can at least finish up the rest off the roof soon so I can send any extra wood back, who knows maybe we will even have enough credit to get some doors, every little bit helps. Well I hope that June goes a little smoother with healing and work for Josh. We really appreciate everyone who still prays for our family. Thank you also to everyone who asks how he is and is there to help him in any way. Much love, Denise

7 months

Last week we hit the 7 month mark! Josh has been doing well, he still has the wound vac but it is healing up faster than expected. In fact on Monday at wound care he talked Dr Booth into taking it off on Friday. He made a bunch of calls that day to get all of his doctors to release him to go back to work. I think it is driving him crazy being at home so much, he says he is ready to get back to work. I think it will be good for him, I just worry about the hours he says he wants to start back at. He wants to go back to almost full time and then after his evaluation with the neuro doc on the 15th he is hoping to be released to full time. I worry a little about him being able to handle the 10 hours days but I guess he feels ready. He has improved quite a lot as far as his mental state goes, he seems more like himself than he has since this whole thing started. He seems ok with how things are going for the most part. He still has a long way to go in order to be more like he was physically, he is still weaker than he was and he has a hard time sitting very long. It makes me sad that he can't stay at church with me the whole time and that he can't go to the movies anymore. I hope that his sitting parts get better enough one day that he can do those things. He still has pain and a lot of numbness all over his body. He spends a lot of time out in his shop, I think he has cleaned out every drawer and shelf about 3 times. I am so glad that we bought this house last year and he has that space, I now he would have gone crazy by now if he didn't have some kind of escape.

I go to wound care now and then and to most of the doctor visits, but he has had to do more of the appointments on his own. It is funny though when I stopped going every time our wound care friends would always ask where I was, he says they like me better than him. They are a great bunch of people. I have been staying busy with my many projects. My dad and I recently fixed my sprinkling system, did the rough plumbing for the addition and we built a fence so my chickies won't eat my garden. It is an awesome fence. I am so happy that my dad has been able to help me with these things, it is fun to spend time working together. Last weekend we also had the cement poured for the addition, a good friend of ours brother did it on the side to save us some $, it is nice to have it done. From here on out we are doing all of the work, crazy I know. I am just hoping we can get to the point where the outside is done before we run out of money. There are so many things I didn't think about when I tried to calculate the cost, like having to pay for a proctor test so they could do our compaction test for our footings, and it wasn't cheap! I probably wouldn't have started it had I known about all these other things. It really is needed though, 6 of just just don't fit in 3 bedrooms. I think I would loose my little Asher in all the stuff if he had to share a room with his brothers but he is just getting to big to share with his sister. It will be nice for the two older kids to have there own rooms.  Josh will help with the electrical when we get to it, I am glad he will be able to contribute. Thanks to everyone for your continued concern for our family. It is nice to know that people care and still pray for Josh's recovery. Much love, Denise

6 Months and surgery update

Last week we hit the 6 month mark, how time flies, yet it seems so long at the same time. Josh came home from the hospital on Monday last week and has done well with his recovery. He had to come home with one drain and the staples of coarse. We went into the doctors office on Thursday to have them both removed. As the nurse was taking out the staples she noticed a small opening in the middle of the incision. She continued to take the staples out and by the time she was done the middle of the incision for about 3 inches had split open. She felt really bad and went to get the doctor to look at it. In the meantime the rest of the bottom of it spilt open as well. So there he is with a 6 inch long by about and inch and a half wide split. And no they can't staple it back up! So they send us back over to the wound clinic, and he now has a wound vac on again. He is less than thrilled about having to have the wound vac on and have to visit the wound clinic three times a week again, as much as he likes the people there.
 Over all he was not as upset as I think I was about the whole situation. It really looked awful and there he was laying there belly wide open. I felt much better after they had the wound vac in place and they gave him a merdle ( man girdle ) as he calls it, just to keep things tight. He would have had to take it easy for awhile anyway because of the surgery. I felt bad for him just having come so far, it's hard to have set backs. He really has taken it well, he just doesn't like carrying around the wound vac. Other than that he has been doing well since his surgery, he is up and moving around and has been out to his shop. I have had to get after him a couple of times about taking it easy and not lifting things but for the most part he has done well. It is just really hard for him to sit still very long. From what the doctor says he will be out of work for the month of April and we are hoping for a speedy recovery with his belly. He wants to get back to where he left off and he will soon I am sure, we are thankful for the people in our lives that remember to pray for him and our family, much love, Denise

Surgery

Josh's surgery was on Friday, it went really well. It took a lot longer than they told me which made me a little nervous. I even had the lady at the desk call to check on him after it had been twice as long as they had told me. After Dr. Miller came out and told me that there was more work than they expected but it went well. They repaired the whole incision, took out some scar tissue and put some mesh in to help with the hernia. They also left two drains in for a little bit. Josh is still at the hospital recovering, he will come home tomorrow. He may have to come home with at least one of the drains for a few days. He is doing really well, he has been eating fine and has been up walking around. Right after he got back from surgery he was concerned because he couldn't move very well. I think he was worried about not being able to walk. I was waiting in the room when they brought him in and it was so nice to see him with his eyes open and talking, a relief. He has been in some pain but I think it's getting better. It has been good for him to stay at the hospital and be able to rest but he is ready to come home.
The kids have missed him, Asher talked to him on the phone yesterday and told him to come home. It will be nice to have him back home tomorrow.

Today when I went over to the hospital we took a walk up to the ICU to say hi. It is the first time we have been back since he spent a month there. When I called on the phone and said the St John's were here to visit, I could hear the excitement in the nurses voice. As we walked around the corner all of the nurses had come out to the desk, they were all smiling and happy to see us. I knew everyone there, I spent every day and night there for a month. It was so nice to see everyone who helped us through a very difficult time in our life. I know Josh doesn't remember anyone but at least he was able to meet and thank some of them. A few minutes after we returned to his room Jillianne walked in. She is the social worker who was there when they first brought Josh in and she was there throughout his time in the ICU. She was so kind and helped me so much, it was so good to see her, we both had a few tears and she said how happy she was to see Josh doing so well. Today has been full of emotion and memories for me. The past 6 months have been an adventure that I wouldn't wish for anyone. It has gone by so fast and he has come so far. Josh is doing very well from where he began, I know that he will continue to do well as he continues to recover, he still has a lot of improvement ahead of him. Being back in the ICU today reminded me how awesome they were there. Not only are they very talented in what they do but they really do care, I will always remember them and be thankful for them all. Much love, Denise

Back to the OR

Josh has continued to improve, slow but still moving forward. His strength is improving and his moods have been better with a little extra help. He still has ups and downs but they have started to be a little more up than down. A couple of weeks ago he noticed a lump in his stomach and his doctor confirmed it is an incision hernia. So yesterday we went to see Dr Miller who performed his last surgeries and we talked about surgery to repair his hernia. They will have to go in and repair the entire incision, they will have to place some mesh inside to help it to heal. They will have to take out some of the scar tissue and make some incisions on the sides and place drains that will be in for a few weeks. He is nervous but wants to get it done asap so that he can continue on with his healing. The recovery time will be about 6 weeks, it will be harder for him because of his just having been through so much. We don't really know at this point how long he will be in the hospital, the doctor said most of the time it's just the one day but that it could be up to 4 days.

He was just about to start working every day, still on a modified schedule and he just started 5 hours every other day this week. I think he is a little bummed out about having to take a step back. We new this was a possibility but thought if it happened it would be down the road sometime. I have to say I am not thrilled about having him back in the hospital, and having to recover from another surgery. I hope that is doesn't set him back to much, I worry about him getting down about things. He seems pretty ok with things and just wants to get it taken care of so that he can continue to heal. So it looks like the next month or so will be spent taking it easy. I will probably be posting a little more to keep everyone up to date on this next round of surgery and recovery. Thank you everyone for the continued prayers, Love to all Denise

5 Months

Wow, I can hardly believe it has been 5 months! That first night I really didn't know what to expect, I didn't even know if Josh was going to make it at all. Before the blessing that is, after that I knew he would make it, despite what the doctors were telling me. For all that time in the hospital it was just one day at a time, I didn't like to think to far ahead. When I did think about being home as a family again it was the little things like eating dinner together again and watching a movie with the kids that I thought about. I am thankful that Josh progressed fast at first in order to be home and that we can share things as a family again. That was one of the hardest things for me when he was in the hospital, not being together as a family. It has been a long 5 months, the first 2 being the longest. I was telling Josh the other day that while it has been 5 months he didn't really start his recovery until about 6 weeks into it, because it took time to stablize him and get him off all of the sedatives. After that he made great strides in his recovery and blew away all of his doctors. It is funny we just started seeing a doctor for the pain he is having in his back and after looking over his chart he asked him "how are you still here"? He was amazed that he is alive and doing so very well. While Josh is still progressing, it is at a slower rate than before. He is still seeing improvement just not so daily, he told me the other day " I couldn't do that last week". He just gets tired of it all sometimes, although he is starting to except that it is going to take time to fully heal, whatever that may be for him.

Work is going pretty well, he just increased his hours to 3 a day 3 times a week. He still gets worn out really fast and with the brain injury and he needs a little more rest than before. I think that he does get a little frustrated with not being able to do the things he would like to be able to do. His body is still healing, he is doing really well though. His brain will take a little more time, he can still think the same and do the same things, it just will take him longer and he may get worn out or frustrated with himself at times. The good news is that even though the brain is slower at healing, it will heal. His wound on his leg finally just finished closing up this last week. I wondered if it ever would, they had to open it back up some in order to get it to heal. Seems weird to make it bigger to fix it but it worked. He will miss the wound care friends he made. The appointments have slowed down, which is good as he starts working more. He still has a few doctors on the list, we have narrowed it down to 3 or 4. I know as he continues to heal his body that his mind will follow and he will be more himself soon. I hope that when he is more healed we can take some time to have some fun together with the kids and without to sort of rebond and celabrate all that we have been through. In the meantime I have been spending a lot of time in the yard, trouble shooting leaks, digging,  pulling weeds, planning a garden, cleaning up, insulating the coop and whatever else I can do to keep myself and my little ones and not so little ones busy. I love working together with my kids. For whatever reason we have been blessed to remain together as a family. I would not wish our past year on anyone, but I also would not change it a bit. I am thankful the Lord let me keep my sweet little Asher and my Josh, life would not be the same without them, thank you so much for the prayers that continue, we are blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. Much love to all, Denise

Back to work

So yesterday was Josh's first day back at work, he was pretty nervous. He went for 2 hours in the middle of the day because we had appointments in the morning. He did really well, he seemed happier yesterday too. When he got home he told me all about his "day". He said that it didn't feel like enough time and that he would like to be able to stay a little longer if he feels up to it, something to talk to the doctor about next week. I think it has been really good for his emotional health so far, I know he is still worried about his limitations but he will continue to heal. It is mostly his left shoulder and arm that concern him, it is still very weak and his range of motion is not all there. It is hard to say at this point if it will ever be the same as it was before, only time will tell. I am glad that he was doing so well after he went in to work. I was a little nervous too. It almost felt like the anxiety of sending your child to school for the first time, weird I know. It was a relief to see him happy about it. He also found his knife that he keeps in his pocket, he thought it was lost after the fall. Someone had picked it up and put it in his tool belt for him, he was super excited to find it. He really has come so far and it is good to see him start doing some of the things he used to do again. I am grateful that he is here.

He is still seeing doctors for his back issues, he is still having a lot of pain. Not sure if traction is working yet, to soon to tell. He has seemed to slow down on the pain meds though so maybe that is a good sign. His regular doctor has adjusted his meds, some more and some a little less. One good thing is that he was able to cut his blood pressure meds in half. He may get to the point where he won't need them anymore and that would be good. I remember in the ICU one of his nurses saying if after all this he only ended up needing to take a blood pressure pill the rest of his life he would be happy. He may not, we will see. The good news is Josh continues to heal in every way. He is done with he therapy other than what he is doing for his back. He still has work to do on his own to continue to heal. He will be retested at therapy in March to see how he has done on his own.

I didn't get to far the other day with the shovel, I started and then had to clear a spot for the dirt. I didn't think about how much dirt I would be removing, not sure where to put it all. Kind of frustrated at this point. Earlier this week I spent a day and a half cleaning out the boys bedroom, I removed 3 bags of garbage and one bag for DI and probably at least one bag of stuff that didn't belong in there room. I have no idea why they collect so much trash! It is nice to have a little more time to start doing the things I used to do, my entire house needs an over haul! Life is slowing down little by little. I have been attending less appointments. He can go to some of them without me as long as they don't need any new information he is fine. I still go to new appointments and follow ups, wound care now and then and our weekly therapy. It is good to spend more time with Asher at home during the day, he is so fun. Thanks so much to everyone who came to celebrate Josh's progress the other night at the Carter's. And thanks to Anna for making it happen and to her family. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful friends we have. It was really good for Josh to remember how loved he is. Also thank you to everyone who has helped to get him this far in any way. Love to all, Denise