11 Month's

I am not really sure what happened to 10 months. I remember it passing by quite fast and thinking not much had changed, maybe that's why I didn't write. When I read from the 9 month post I guess some has and some hasn't. Josh is all done with wound care, the tunnel filled in pretty fast. He is now left with a pretty big scar, in some places it is around an inch thick. It kind of puts his belly button off to the side a little. I have to say it is a little creepy looking. I guess that's what happens when things split open that are not supposed to. He is working more and getting more consistent in being able to stay longer even when he isn't feeling the best. He is almost back to full time, probably in the next few weeks. He still has good days and bad. There is still a lot he can't do, things that used to be normal for him before the accident. We went over to the high school the other night for back to school, we were going up and down stairs some and at one point I got down and around the corner and turned around and he wasn't behind me. I didn't realize he was still having a hard time with stairs until then. I think a lot of it is just lack of strength and the pain that he has in his back. I think he still has a lot of recovery yet to do. He has been told before that it may take 2 years before he feels more normal. He is happy that he will still get better from here but discouraged that it may take up to a whole year before that happens.

The other night we were talking about just even the fact that we haven't gone camping because it would just be to hard right now. We really wanted to go but he is just not strong enough to help me with everything that is involved with camping let alone sleep in a tent for more than one night. I already know that he would have some major recovery time after camping, so we haven't gone for now. I really hope that next summer is different, I hope that we can go camping and have some family time. We did take a trip to Salt Lake right before school started, it was nice to spend some time with my mom and see some of Josh's family too. Ahlia turned 13 while we were there. I took the older kids to lagoon for a day, it was a lot of fun for us but it did stink that Josh couldn't go with. He ended up visiting with friends and going to his favorite store NPS where they have stuff from semi's that crash. We all had a nice dinner and played games at my mom's house on Ahlia's birthday. It was a nice trip, it was nice to have a little break.

Not a lot has been done on the addition, we waited a long time for the a/c unit to be moved so that we could close off the roof. It was just moved this week and so we have been working a bit more on it. We might be able to get the four way inspection next week if Josh can finish up the electrical. He hasn't been very motivated to do it. That is really the only thing I have asked of him. Me and my dad (mostly my dad) have done most the work. At this point we are going on hopes and dreams as my niece would say in reference to her gas tank. We have some materials left to keep us going for a little bit but at some point we will be stuck. Honestly I am amazed that we have made it this far on what little we did have. Some how things have stretched and I am grateful for that, and for everyone who has donated anything at all. We will finish at some point, and I can't tell you how nice it will be. Now that school has started again I am reminded every morning that the older kids really need their own rooms. It is not fun to have the littler boys woke up at 6:45 in the morning because the older kids are to noisy in their rooms where they are still trying to sleep. Oh how nice it will be to have them in a room together where they can sleep longer so they will not be crabby later in the day because they are up to early. Camden has already a plan in mind for his "new" room, he is the funniest kids ever, he even drew me a picture. And Asher said no to pirates, he wants all the super heroes and Tinkerbell, he knows mommy likes her. It has been nice to be back to somewhat of a schedule, although I will never be able to get everything done in a day that I would like. At least there is always tomorrow for all of us. Time to work on things and get better at them and adjust to life as it is now. Things are different, not so much bad different, just different. And sometimes that is hard. I know that we have gone through this trial to make us stronger, God only gives us what he knows we can handle right? I just hope that we come out of it better for having gone through it. I don't know at this point when it will seem like we are done with it, soon I hope. I am still amazed at how many people still care and ask about Josh and our family, thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. Love to all, Denise

9 Months

Wow! I can hardly believe it has been 9 months, I feel like the year mark is closing in on us fast. Josh is still going to wound care although the wound vac has been discontinued permenently he still has a tunnel that is healing slowly. It should only be a few more weeks now until it fills in. He has been back to work for about a month now. He has had some days he is able to work 8 hours,but he has yet to make a full week of it. He has to be real careful not to over due it or he suffers for it for a few days. Yesterday he over did it and when he got home he slept for about 3 hours. Then this morning he would not wake up for anything. His alarm was going off and I was jabbing him. I thought he got up but I guess he accidentally shut his alarm off. It started to get light out and when I noticed he was still sleeping it took me jabbing him about 5 more times before he would even come to. He didn't make it very long today at work, he came home around lunch and went straight to bed and is snoring away. I don't know how long it will take before he can work 40 hours a week again. I know he pushes himself as it is, I guess it will just take time.

Last night we spent some time with a friend of ours who works at the hospital and new the details about Josh's accident before he new it was Josh they were talking about. He said that when they were describing to him what had happened and about the response team and what they had done so far they told him they didn't expect him to make it though the night. He was there when they came to get Josh for his second surgery so they could try and stabilize him and agian when he died that first night. He didn't reccognize Josh at first, but figured it out when he saw me. He said he felt just awful thinking that Josh was probably not going to pull through.  It reminded me of how scary it all was. He has come a very long way. He still has a long road ahead.

We have been slowly adding to the progress of the addition. Not much to report except the plumbing is finished! We have one side of the new roof connected to the old but can't do to much more until the heating and air conditioning is done. Josh has pulled a little wire but he really doesn't have the energy to do anything after work so he will do a little each weekend. My dad comes over almost every day and works until it is to hot out. He is amazing, I am so grateful for all of the work he has done.

Well that is our update for now. Josh is still snoring loudly while the kids are busy making and eating cookies. I have been cleaning out the boys room today which is a huge joh, not because they have a ton of stuff but because they never get rid of anything including garbage. What use would one have for broken flip flops? Empty gum wrappers and water bottles? I love it when it's cleaned up but I usually have to go in and do it myself about every other month. Mainly so they don't see all of the things I push in the trash. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I really hope that we can find a time for a short camping trip, we all REALLY need to get away and have some time to enjoy each other with nothing else to worry about, just family.  Well until next month, Love to all Denise

8 months

So it has now been just over 8 months since Josh's accident, they have said that at one year he will be as good as he is going to get. I have decided life will never be normal again, like it was that is. This last month Josh has been busy with wound care, he keeps talking them out of using the wound vac but they have put it back on several times. He had an infection in the wound and they found a fairly deep tunnel toward the top that had to be drained. He has been back to work and then off again then back, then off. It has been very frustrating for him overall. This last week he has done a lot of healing. This morning when I changed the dressing the incision part looks really good, it's just the hole at the top now that needs to fill in. I would say it is about 3 inches deep right now. Tunnels kind of take their time, it is slow but still moving forward. For now they are keeping the wound vac off. Josh has once again talked all of his doctors into letting him go back to work, this time it will be full time minus wound care and doctor appointments. It will be good for him, I just worry that he will over do it. It was only two weeks ago that he was sent home for such behavior. He is still without a lot of the strength he had before. I now they will watch out for him, and I appreciate that. Josh will not be just like he was before at one year, I don't know if he will be even at two. Things are just different, I guess we just need to find our new normal. Physically, mentally, emotionally, things are different. We are still adjusting and will be for some time I am sure. Overall things continue to move forward, one day wound care will be done, that in itself will be very nice, as much as we like the people there. Tomorrow will be another try at going back to work. Praying things go well for him this time.

This last month has brought much progress on our addition, thanks to my dad and a some guidance and help from my brother. My dad and I have finished the framing of the walls. A couple of weeks ago we put the trusses on with the help of my brother. Everything that is up is sheeted, now we just need to do the build back to connect the two roofs. It is going to be so very nice. One bad thing though is I didn't know we would need a separate unit for air/heat in the new area. I guess I thought what we had would work for the new part too. Did I mention before that I am not a builder, although I am getting pretty good with the nail gun! Anyway once we get that figured out we will out of funds, so we will either be on hold or start using the Home Depot card. So hard to do since we have had it paid off for awhile now. But things will work out, even if we use it to at least get the bedroom done and wait on the rest. I long ago bought just about everything for the bathroom except any tile. We also had a good friend donate some shelving wood, so maybe it won't be to far off to get our closet and bathroom done as well. My help was gone all last week but I had the whole family out ripping off stucco from the back wall. It was a lot of work but kinda fun. Josh also nailed up some boxes for the lights and plugs. It is getting pretty hot out now but I hope we can at least finish up the rest off the roof soon so I can send any extra wood back, who knows maybe we will even have enough credit to get some doors, every little bit helps. Well I hope that June goes a little smoother with healing and work for Josh. We really appreciate everyone who still prays for our family. Thank you also to everyone who asks how he is and is there to help him in any way. Much love, Denise

7 months

Last week we hit the 7 month mark! Josh has been doing well, he still has the wound vac but it is healing up faster than expected. In fact on Monday at wound care he talked Dr Booth into taking it off on Friday. He made a bunch of calls that day to get all of his doctors to release him to go back to work. I think it is driving him crazy being at home so much, he says he is ready to get back to work. I think it will be good for him, I just worry about the hours he says he wants to start back at. He wants to go back to almost full time and then after his evaluation with the neuro doc on the 15th he is hoping to be released to full time. I worry a little about him being able to handle the 10 hours days but I guess he feels ready. He has improved quite a lot as far as his mental state goes, he seems more like himself than he has since this whole thing started. He seems ok with how things are going for the most part. He still has a long way to go in order to be more like he was physically, he is still weaker than he was and he has a hard time sitting very long. It makes me sad that he can't stay at church with me the whole time and that he can't go to the movies anymore. I hope that his sitting parts get better enough one day that he can do those things. He still has pain and a lot of numbness all over his body. He spends a lot of time out in his shop, I think he has cleaned out every drawer and shelf about 3 times. I am so glad that we bought this house last year and he has that space, I now he would have gone crazy by now if he didn't have some kind of escape.

I go to wound care now and then and to most of the doctor visits, but he has had to do more of the appointments on his own. It is funny though when I stopped going every time our wound care friends would always ask where I was, he says they like me better than him. They are a great bunch of people. I have been staying busy with my many projects. My dad and I recently fixed my sprinkling system, did the rough plumbing for the addition and we built a fence so my chickies won't eat my garden. It is an awesome fence. I am so happy that my dad has been able to help me with these things, it is fun to spend time working together. Last weekend we also had the cement poured for the addition, a good friend of ours brother did it on the side to save us some $, it is nice to have it done. From here on out we are doing all of the work, crazy I know. I am just hoping we can get to the point where the outside is done before we run out of money. There are so many things I didn't think about when I tried to calculate the cost, like having to pay for a proctor test so they could do our compaction test for our footings, and it wasn't cheap! I probably wouldn't have started it had I known about all these other things. It really is needed though, 6 of just just don't fit in 3 bedrooms. I think I would loose my little Asher in all the stuff if he had to share a room with his brothers but he is just getting to big to share with his sister. It will be nice for the two older kids to have there own rooms.  Josh will help with the electrical when we get to it, I am glad he will be able to contribute. Thanks to everyone for your continued concern for our family. It is nice to know that people care and still pray for Josh's recovery. Much love, Denise

6 Months and surgery update

Last week we hit the 6 month mark, how time flies, yet it seems so long at the same time. Josh came home from the hospital on Monday last week and has done well with his recovery. He had to come home with one drain and the staples of coarse. We went into the doctors office on Thursday to have them both removed. As the nurse was taking out the staples she noticed a small opening in the middle of the incision. She continued to take the staples out and by the time she was done the middle of the incision for about 3 inches had split open. She felt really bad and went to get the doctor to look at it. In the meantime the rest of the bottom of it spilt open as well. So there he is with a 6 inch long by about and inch and a half wide split. And no they can't staple it back up! So they send us back over to the wound clinic, and he now has a wound vac on again. He is less than thrilled about having to have the wound vac on and have to visit the wound clinic three times a week again, as much as he likes the people there.
 Over all he was not as upset as I think I was about the whole situation. It really looked awful and there he was laying there belly wide open. I felt much better after they had the wound vac in place and they gave him a merdle ( man girdle ) as he calls it, just to keep things tight. He would have had to take it easy for awhile anyway because of the surgery. I felt bad for him just having come so far, it's hard to have set backs. He really has taken it well, he just doesn't like carrying around the wound vac. Other than that he has been doing well since his surgery, he is up and moving around and has been out to his shop. I have had to get after him a couple of times about taking it easy and not lifting things but for the most part he has done well. It is just really hard for him to sit still very long. From what the doctor says he will be out of work for the month of April and we are hoping for a speedy recovery with his belly. He wants to get back to where he left off and he will soon I am sure, we are thankful for the people in our lives that remember to pray for him and our family, much love, Denise

Surgery

Josh's surgery was on Friday, it went really well. It took a lot longer than they told me which made me a little nervous. I even had the lady at the desk call to check on him after it had been twice as long as they had told me. After Dr. Miller came out and told me that there was more work than they expected but it went well. They repaired the whole incision, took out some scar tissue and put some mesh in to help with the hernia. They also left two drains in for a little bit. Josh is still at the hospital recovering, he will come home tomorrow. He may have to come home with at least one of the drains for a few days. He is doing really well, he has been eating fine and has been up walking around. Right after he got back from surgery he was concerned because he couldn't move very well. I think he was worried about not being able to walk. I was waiting in the room when they brought him in and it was so nice to see him with his eyes open and talking, a relief. He has been in some pain but I think it's getting better. It has been good for him to stay at the hospital and be able to rest but he is ready to come home.
The kids have missed him, Asher talked to him on the phone yesterday and told him to come home. It will be nice to have him back home tomorrow.

Today when I went over to the hospital we took a walk up to the ICU to say hi. It is the first time we have been back since he spent a month there. When I called on the phone and said the St John's were here to visit, I could hear the excitement in the nurses voice. As we walked around the corner all of the nurses had come out to the desk, they were all smiling and happy to see us. I knew everyone there, I spent every day and night there for a month. It was so nice to see everyone who helped us through a very difficult time in our life. I know Josh doesn't remember anyone but at least he was able to meet and thank some of them. A few minutes after we returned to his room Jillianne walked in. She is the social worker who was there when they first brought Josh in and she was there throughout his time in the ICU. She was so kind and helped me so much, it was so good to see her, we both had a few tears and she said how happy she was to see Josh doing so well. Today has been full of emotion and memories for me. The past 6 months have been an adventure that I wouldn't wish for anyone. It has gone by so fast and he has come so far. Josh is doing very well from where he began, I know that he will continue to do well as he continues to recover, he still has a lot of improvement ahead of him. Being back in the ICU today reminded me how awesome they were there. Not only are they very talented in what they do but they really do care, I will always remember them and be thankful for them all. Much love, Denise

Back to the OR

Josh has continued to improve, slow but still moving forward. His strength is improving and his moods have been better with a little extra help. He still has ups and downs but they have started to be a little more up than down. A couple of weeks ago he noticed a lump in his stomach and his doctor confirmed it is an incision hernia. So yesterday we went to see Dr Miller who performed his last surgeries and we talked about surgery to repair his hernia. They will have to go in and repair the entire incision, they will have to place some mesh inside to help it to heal. They will have to take out some of the scar tissue and make some incisions on the sides and place drains that will be in for a few weeks. He is nervous but wants to get it done asap so that he can continue on with his healing. The recovery time will be about 6 weeks, it will be harder for him because of his just having been through so much. We don't really know at this point how long he will be in the hospital, the doctor said most of the time it's just the one day but that it could be up to 4 days.

He was just about to start working every day, still on a modified schedule and he just started 5 hours every other day this week. I think he is a little bummed out about having to take a step back. We new this was a possibility but thought if it happened it would be down the road sometime. I have to say I am not thrilled about having him back in the hospital, and having to recover from another surgery. I hope that is doesn't set him back to much, I worry about him getting down about things. He seems pretty ok with things and just wants to get it taken care of so that he can continue to heal. So it looks like the next month or so will be spent taking it easy. I will probably be posting a little more to keep everyone up to date on this next round of surgery and recovery. Thank you everyone for the continued prayers, Love to all Denise