Four Months

Today has been four months since the accident. In my mind it seems so much longer. Yesterday I was thinking about the night before the accident. We were all sitting in the living room and I was thinking to my self how nice it was to hear Josh and the older kids talking and laughing and the two younger kids were play nice. I was just sitting and watching and enjoying it all. I wonder if we will ever get there again. Life is very different for all of us, it has been an adjustment. It would seem that after this long that things should be getting back to normal. I think we will have to find a new normal, things are different now.

Josh has continued to make progress, he has started driving on his own this week. He went to the store and his work by himself. And today for the first time he is going to his PT and Chiropractor by himself. It was weird sending him off, I have faith he can do it. I will still need to go to some appointments because he has a hard time remembering things, but it is nice to be able to stay home today. The MRI of his back showed bulging discs, the Chiropractor is wanting to try traction and said he will know if it is working after 5 times. Today will be twice and they will start some PT just for his lower back. I really hope he gets some relief soon. We had an appt. with the Neuro therapist last night and he wants to see Josh again the first part of next week,. He said if he is doing well he wants to try a couple of hours at work on Wednesday and Thursday or Friday.  Kind of  a trial run to see how he does and then maybe to three times the next week. I know Josh is happy about that, but he is also nervous. He is afraid of all that he won't be able to do or remember. I think it will just take some time to adjust like everything else he has done so far. Wound care is doing well this week, last week it actually got worse. That was a bummer, but this week it is back to healing again. Dr. Booth said that if it doesn't get better soon he wants to open it up because tunnels have a hard time healing. Josh is hoping that it will just heal, he said he has been cut enough. After Monday he will be done with OT, they said he is ready and that everything else he can do on his own. There are still a lot of appointments, just when he graduates from one things we seem to add another. Maybe another month and things will slow down some. At this point even with still having some physical issues to deal with Josh is having a harder time with the emotional stuff. It is a lot harder for him to sort out the feelings and thoughts in his head than it is to deal with the limitations his body still has. The brain takes longer to heal than the body. It is hard sometimes how he is different. I know he is still healing and it takes time.

I have not had a chance to work on my project since we tore out the cement. I have been a little overwhelmed with it, at times I wonder what I was thinking. How is this ever going to get done, I seem to be lacking in every aspect of the whole darn thing. All I know is that I really want to add this space to our home, I just can't see three boys in the tiny bedroom that is there now. I am sure it has been done before but Brayd is going to be 15 soon and it is hard for ME to have him in a room with a 7 year old, I can't imagine adding a 2 year old to the mix. Pure kayos is what that will equal! At any rate why stop now, I will be out there with my shovel digging footings if you need me. I have to have faith that it will all work out one step at a time. Much love, Denise

Progress

A lot happened last week, Josh had his MRI, we don't have any results yet. He also took his driving test and passed! We are just waiting for the paper work to go through so he can start driving. His therapy is going well, his speech therapist recommended that he do one final testing and then he will be done with her. She said he is done well and that he will still continue to progress, he has the skills, the rest will just come with time. He also did some testing in PT and they are happy with his progress and they continue to work on his balance and strength. Things have not progressed much with wound care, they said that sometimes things will just stop healing and so they scrapped it out to see if that would get things moving again. We also met with the neuro therapist this week, it is good for Josh to talk to him, he makes sense of some of the things that Josh is feeling. He set a goal to spend a couple hours a couple of times per week doing something productive out in the shop or around the house so that he can prepare to go back to work. He needs to build up to it and prepare himself so that he knows he can tolerate it when he returns. He is getting stronger and he can use his left arm more every week. He also still gets worn out very quickly and needs to rest a lot. Looking forward to the results of the MRI so that we now what is causing his lower back pain and can get help with it. The first part of the week was very hard for Josh but his spirits have lifted and he is thinking positive again.

We will be heading to SLC again this weekend, my Grandpa passed away y this morning. He was the sweetest man ever, I will miss the twinkle in his eye and the bright smile of excitement he always had when we went to see him. He has missed my Grandma so much and I am happy he is with her again. How is it possible to be sad and happy at the same time. We knew it was coming but that really doesn't make it any easier. It will be nice to see all of my family, some who I haven't seen for a long time. I am a bit worried about Josh making the trip, the last time it was really bad for his back. He still can't sit for very long at one time. We will have to stop a lot, I don't want him hurting like before. Maybe they will figure out something with it soon, I will have to check on the MRI on Monday.

I am thankful for all of the help tearing out cement, it was a huge job. I never would have been able to get it all taken out and hauled away without my Dad, Brayd, Matt and Kyle. Thanks so much for all your help! Things will probably progress slow from here, I will try to be patient! It's ok I am hoping taxes go well for us this year, that would really help with my project. As long as we can get walls up and a roof on we can do other stuff here and there. Thanks again, much love to all, Denise

A day off

No appointments today! This week so far has been busy, at wound care they said that things are progressing, just slow. We will see the doc tomorrow and they may change things up on how they are caring for it. We also went to his regular doctor and he wants Josh to have another MRI on his lower back to check for reasons for his lower back pain. Sometimes it is so bad he can't sit at all for very long. He was not happy about another MRI, I am not telling him when it is again so he won't stress. He is also going to have his teeth checked out, he has been having pain in the front on top and bottom. Probably rattled them a bit when he fell. He also had a steroid shot in his shoulder to see if it would help with the pain there. He has been written off of work for another 4 weeks.  He has an appointment next week for his driving test, one step closer to going back to work. We have 5 appointments tomorrow! So far 4 has been our record, it is going to be a long day. Therapy is going well, he was so excited to show me how he can sit down on the floor and get back up without holding on to anything to get back up. He is still improving fast.

Today was busy even though we never left the house. I had Josh clean out his files and keep an eye on Asher while I demolished the sun room out back. If you have never seen our sun room it was not a small room. I had no idea what I was doing at first, I just started taking screws out. It really wasn't to bad, but I was grateful when Brayd came home from school and could help me finish up the last wall. Tomorrow we are going to take down the rest of the awning so that on Saturday we can tear up the cement, hoping to get my hands on a jack hammer. The reason I am doing all of this is I can no longer handle Brayd and Camden living in the same room, and Asher can only share with his sister so long. If we put another room on I can put the two smaller boys together and the older kids can have there own. If there wasn't such a huge age difference between the boys it might be easier for them to share. I have no idea how much things will cost but I figure that I can do almost anything and will have to so that we can save. When we talked about doing this it was before the accident and I thought we could do it together. I know he feels bad for me to do it and he can't help, he said today he wishes we could just hire it out. I am sure there are some things we will need help with, but I have to say even though I am in pain right now it was kind of fun today. When I want something done I will find a way, although I haven't found a way to move the hot tub by myself. If anyone would like to help it would be much appreciated. It is very heavy, and it needs a new home, but I just need it to the other side of the patio for now. It was good to focus my energy on tearing down the sun room today, I felt very productive. I am grateful for everyone who still reads to find out how Josh is doing, I try to write twice a week to keep the info going. I hope everyone has had a great start to 2012, much love, Denise

Home Sweet Home

It has been a great week, very good for Josh. He has been so happy spending time with family and friends. It was great to spend the week with my mom at her house. Josh spent time swapping hospital stories with my step dad, it was good for him to talk with someone who understands what he is going through. As great of a week as it was we were both so happy to get back home. We have one more day to enjoy before the week of appointments starts back up. It has been nice to have a break, but Josh has actually been more sore than when he is doing his therapies. I think moving around less made it harder for him. He was telling me on the way home today that he gets what the neuro doc was saying about wanting to make sure that he is ready when he goes back to work. He went out in the shop before we left and tried to do some airbrushing and it was harder for him than he thought it would be. I don't think he understood until he tried it out for himself. He will get there he just needs time for his brain to heal. I can see improvements regularly, but I can really see how it affects him when he is tired, just by how he talks and what he says. He is doing really well with his wound, I can't wait to go back to the wound clinic this week, I hope I have been doing a good job taking care of it. I feel like it is getting smaller but I am not sure, they will measure it to see. It will be so nice when it is all healed up, less appointments and less me having to jab him with the little stick thing. Moving forward every day!
I want to thank everyone who has made this a great holiday season for us. I am so looking forward to a new year. It has been a difficult year with Asher having his appendix rupture and his surgery and hospital stay and then with Josh's ordeal. I am blessed that they are both still here, I thank God that they are. I wish everyone a Happy New Year, much love, Denise

Visiting

It was so good to see everyone who was able to stop by last night to see Josh, it was super good for Josh. He really has improved so much that just by looking at him it is hard to tell that he had anything wrong. If you see him move around or walk at all you can tell he is still recovering. He was really happy to see everyone and it lifted his spirits so much. This trip has been really good for him. I haven't posted any pictures because some of them are not very pretty, but I think it would be good to share a few of them that show the different stages he has gone through. I won't share some of them just because some people really would not like to see them, but they have been good for Josh to see. He needed to see how far he has come and how well he is doing, I still have to remind him now and then. I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday and I pray that all who are sick will get well soon, love to all, Denise

Day 2~ Swollen

Lots of tubes~ swollen belly

Still very swollen and on tons of meds

Less swollen and he still has nice hair!

First time off the vent, getting his hair washed.
Talking but very drugged and silly.

Not breathing so well, just before the vent was put back in.

First time sitting up~ pretty loopy~ still in ICU

No vent~first hair cut~still in ICU and heavily medicated

Ride to SLC~ barley remembers~first day out of ICU after 4 weeks and one day.

LDS Hospital~ starting to remember more.

LDS Hospital~ starting therapy

I am missing pictures of therapy in the hospital here in St George, but
here is his out patient therapy~walking yay!

Thanks so much to all of his care takers, they have all be amazing!

Christmas eve

This week has been busy, I am so happy to have it come to an end. It feels like we are on vacation! No appointments until next year, yay!!! This week one of our many appointments was with Dr. Kockler who did the neuro testing right after Josh was released from the hospital. Lets just say that Josh was very unhappy when the doc said that it would be awhile before he would be able to go back to work. He pretty much threw a fit, and it the end the doc said that he would see how he was doing at the end of January and consider letting him start back on a very modified schedule. The doc did say that he thought it was time to let Josh take the driving evaluation and if he passes he can get his privileges back, that made him very happy. The doctor said that he believes that Josh will recover quite well from his TBI (traumatic brain injury) it will just take time, the brain heals much slower than the body. To be honest I don't know where he would fit work in with the schedule of appointments he has right now. Some days he has 4 different appointments and by the time he gets home he takes about a 3 hour nap. The fatigue is somewhat related to the TBI, but even I am tired from going all of the time. I think he needs to just take it week by week, he still has a long road ahead of him. He gets frustrated looking at his progress on a daily bases, but I told him to look back at just a month ago, he has come so far in such a short time. Even week to week he improves a lot, he picked up Asher for the first time this week and he has been out to his shop by himself, doctor approved even! That was one thing the neuro doc said as well, he is approved to use the power tools! One thing at a time......

Today has been spent watching movies in our pj's and just hanging out, so very nice. The Smurf's movie was actually cute, for a watch with the kids kind of movie. They are watching Harry Potter now and I have not seen the one before so I will wait. Josh had no desire to see it so he went out to the shop and even Asher said "no Harry Potter", but that is ok it's almost nap time. I can't wait for our family party tonight and for Christmas in the morning. It will be different to go to church before opening presents, but I am excited for the hour we will spend with our ward family learning about Christ and feeling his spirit on Christmas. Brayd will be speaking in our meeting tomorrow, I love to hear from any of our youth and especially when it's one of my own. He is much braver than me thank goodness. I hope that we can all feel the love that Christ has for us as we celebrate him tomorrow. I am so very thankful for the blessings he has brought to my life this year. I could not have made it without the strength he has given me, and the angels he has surrounded my family with, thank you so much everyone and a very Merry Christmas to all, may God bless each and everyone, Love Denise

Healing

Josh is done with the wound vac for good, he is super happy about that. His wound is healing slowly, but it is healing. He now only has to go into the wound clinic twice a week, I have to change the dressing every day that we don't go. I really hope it heals soon, they said it could be another 3 weeks. One less appointment is good. Yesterday he had 4 appointments, he was really worn out after. PT, OT, ST and wound care, it was a long day. The rest of our week is busy with more appointments, but next week we get to have a break while we are in Salt Lake. It will be nice to be able to slow down a bit. I will have to keep him busy though we don't want him falling behind. His therapist recommended he try hop scotch, to bad that is an out door activity, maybe when we get back. I am afraid we are going to freeze in Salt Lake, mostly Josh he is always cold now. It will be nice to visit everyone we don't get to see very often.

Josh told me last night that he is worried he won't be the same, I told him he won't be the same, but the changes will be ok. He has been through a lot and it has changed him. I think he will be close to what he was physically, it is just going to take time. He is worried about his left side, I had to remind him that he didn't even move his arm for the first 5 weeks and that it is doing much better than the doctor thought it would be doing at this point. I can see an improvement every week, he can do just a little more than he could before. He is not very patient and he gets down a little because he wants to be better than he is. He has been having a lot of pain in his left shoulder the last week or so as they work it out in PT. I really hope this is short term as it is healing. He was down yesterday so I got him a peppermint hot chocolate from Starbucks, I don't like going there cause they are so expensive but he needed cheering up and he loves them. I wish there was more I could do to help him. He will enjoy seeing his friends and family over the holidays, I just hope the drive doesn't wear him out to much, his tail bone gets very sore when he sits long.

Over the weekend we took Josh to see Footloose. It came out just after his accident and he had said that he wanted to see it, so we waited until he could go. It sounds silly but it was something that we just couldn't do without him. Thanks Mower friends for waiting with me! We were lucky to catch it at the dollar show, I thought we had missed it. As I sat there with him I was reminded of all that we had been through to make it this far. We are blessed, love to all who have helped us get here, Denise