Today has been 3 weeks, it has gone by slow and fast all at the same time. The events of the day were getting a central line put in his jugular. Dr. Taub said I couldn't say and watch, he said that if I learned anything else he was going to be out of a job. He says I know to much and the other day when I silenced the ventilator while helping to change sheets on Josh's bed the nurse also said we have been here to long. So anyway Josh was pretty sleepy this afternoon because they gave him more meds to keep him comfortable while they put the central line in. He woke up looking confused, he didn't know why he was here again. Darn meds that make him forget! Josh has been on the spontaneous setting on the vent, so he is doing the work with a bit of help. During rounds this morning Dr. Taub said the goal was to be rid of the vent in the next 24-48 hrs! Great news!
Josh has seemed sad today, the look in his eyes to me says I am done with this. I was holding his hand earlier tonight and he pointed at the door. I thought he was pointing at the people walking by and said something about them and he shook his head no. He then pointed more forceful and I asked him if he wanted to go and he shook his head yes. So sad, I wish I could scoop him up and take him out of here. Soon, it will be soon. I am sure he will be much happier when he is able to talk, he looks like he has things to say. He is sleeping well for now, until they come in to poke at him some more. They really take good care of him here, I feel bad he probably won't remember anyone. I was able to go to the gym this morning (thanks Kim!) it was good to relieve some stress. I had a good visit at home, I worry about my mom, I don't want her to get stressed out. Still haven't seen my chickens yet, I miss hanging out with them in their little yard. Thanks everyone for all that is still being done for my family. I am thankful for the help and everyone who has made it possible for me to be able to be here with Josh to comfort him. Thank you also to anyone who has made any kind of financial donation, it has helped to ease some of the other stresses that have come up. May God bless you all, Denise
AAHHH SWEETIE I THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY,AND CANT IMAGINE WHAT U R GOING THROUGH....SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE HAVE TO BE STRONG WHEN THATS ALL WE HAVE LEFT....I LOVE YOU AND JOSH AND PRAY FOR U AND YOUR FAMILY EVERYNIGHT....TELL JOSH HIS OTHER BIG SISTER LOVES HIM!!!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO TIFF
Hi Denise
ReplyDeleteYou are on my mind alot and of course so is Josh. The tears have come back again after reading your thoughts and what you 2 are going through. I hope that no one else has to go through something like this again in the family it is just to sad. I wish that no one had to go through something like this but it is life as unpleasent as it is. It makes us think of how short life can be and just how preshiouse life is also. I know that for myself I have take way to much for granted and my family is the most that I have taken for granted, I hope that I can correct that in the future. Denise I love you and I thank you for the streanth that you have shown me and so many other people. THANK YOU.
Love you Dad